hairsprayed | Inbox (The City)

[ That gives him something to think about, actually, so he doesn't shoot back a reply right away. Would he like to be more than brute force? Of course, but he's far from being one of the brightest minds in their ever-growing group. There's a chance to prove that he can be more than muscle in this city simply because none of the brainiacs are around, but also he doesn't want to start finding silver linings in being kidnapped somewhere for unknown reasons.

Shrugging, he fiddles with the end of the strap on his backpack where the material is fraying. ] I mean, no, but that's what I'm good for. [ Barely. He knows better than anyone how often he's gotten his shit rocked. ] Survival plans maybe. Boy scout shit.

[ well that comment definitely has eddie raising an eyebrow, tilting his head as they walk.

that's kind of grim in a way, actually. he can't place what about it he doesn't like but it definitely further contradicts the image of steve harrington he'd had before the guy showed up in the boathouse and prodded at eddie's side with an oar.

it also doesn't quite go with what he saw before they arrived here either; harrington had been all about preparing and making things work so they survived, not just brute forcing it. the guy did jump into lover's lake without hesitation but he'd also been captain of the swim club so it made sense when you thought about it.

eddie narrows his eyes. ] Why're you good for it, Harrington?

[ Even without glancing over, Steve can feel Eddie looking at him. The guy is never very subtle, all drama and emotions in ways that Steve isn't familiar with compared to a life of falling in line. Sure, he'd had his share of parties and under-aged drinking and dabbling with pot, but it was all a rather careful play at rebellion; his parents and coaches never found out, and even if he had the reputation of playboy, he was never a bad boy. Steve Harrington had been a cookie cutter popular jock, and that meant even breaking rules in a cookie cutter sort of way.

Thing is, he's matured out of that, both by force and by choice. Maybe that's why he wants to answer Eddie honestly and needs to think about how to word the answer since he's always been shit at explaining things. Nancy believed he had complex thoughts, to a degree, but she knows better than anyone that Steve doesn't have the tools to share those thoughts with the world. It's hard translating things from his brain—maybe that's why D&D and all of the fantasy worlds are so baffling to him. ]

I mean, I've been the muscle. Maybe the practical one since everyone else has crazy ideas and they don't know how the world works even if they understand all the science of it. [ Always the babysitter, the one person that always tries to tell people "no" when they least want to hear it.

He drops the backpack strap from his hands and starts gesturing instead like it'll help explain anything if he can put a physical aspect to it. ] I sucked at school, and I don't understand any of the shit the kids talk about, or Eleven's whole deal, or even the kind of shit Nancy and Jonathan get up to with the, like, spying and writing.

[ eddie opens his mouth to comment on that first bit but then steve keeps going so he just listens, keeps quiet and smokes his cigarette as steve word vomits his thoughts out into the world.

he wonders if it's cathartic for people who don't do it often. steve seems like the sort of guy who doesn't or like he feels like he shouldn't, but maybe eddie's projecting on to him based on the fact he looks both confused and on the edge of saying something a whole lot of the time. ] For someone who doesn't understand it, you seemed pretty on top of it when Henderson and Buckley were trying to convince me that the good news is killing Vecna was the easy part.

[ eddie had hoped for a more grounded, voice of reason approach from someone and hadn't gotten it. ] And from one guy that sucked at school worse than you, man, that just mean you don't have the sort of smarts that'll make you a good, little itty bitty worker bee in a soul crushing nine-to-five desk job.

[ which sounds terrible to eddie but then he pauses. ] Unless that's what you wanted. Then I'm sorry, dude.

Buuuuuut--- [ he draws out the sound and takes one more drag of nicotine in his smoke before holding it out toward steve, close enough that he's at his side and it's in front of him if he wants it. ] That just sounds like you think you should do it because it's what's left.

[ It's probably the scent of smoke that's giving him the craving, but Steve could really use a cigarette right now. Having one in his hands would also give him something to do, a concrete action for his lips and lungs that was something other than talking. Eddie looks at him like he might be crazy, or maybe it's just surprise that Steve is saying so much to someone he knows so little about. They're still feeling each other out in a lot of ways, and while it seems they've both left behind their prejudices and jealousies surrounding the other, that doesn't mean they really get each other yet.

A bark of laughter escapes him, a bit of a smile creeping into the corner of his lips and he nods. ] Yeah, man, you came into things three years later than me. And I was trying to get you on board.

[ He doesn't think he was lying to Eddie, not exactly, but Steve had definitely underestimated Vecna and overestimated those left in Hawkins. He still wonders if they would have won more definitively if everyone had been together, if Eleven and the Byers hadn't been across the country, and Hopper had been alive. Steve might be the voice of reason, but that's not always because he has all the answers—sometimes he just knows the sound of a suicidal plan when he hears one.

Sometimes he doesn't.

The comment about worker bees and desk jobs makes him shake his head, but he doesn't say anything because he doesn't know what he wants. He knows that he doesn't want to work for his dad, and he knows that he can't get into college, and the only thing that he knows is that he wants a life with someone he loves but that seems just as impossible as doing anything other than a soul-crushing nine-to-five job of any kind. ]

I mean, yeah? If I'm the one that can do it, and no one else can, then it's up to me. Plus, what else is there? How else can I help if not this? Like, fuck, at least babysitting Henderson means that I can keep him alive to do his science shit and make a real difference.

Yeah, that's me. Good with being three years later. [ eggie says with a bit of a self-deprecating smile on his lips. three years late to the whole 'supernatural world of monsters under our town' bit is a lot better than to walking down the stage to graduate.

then again, eddie's not going to be doing that any time soon. at least he doesn't think so. he's still holding the cigarette out. ] You seem like you need it, dude.

[ the place their in might not have weed readily available, but at least it has camels. sweet, sweet camels. terrible for eddie's lungs but great for his anxiety and the way his hands shake.

he frowns, brows furrowing slightly as he listens to steve talk about how he doesn't have anything else to add. ] You realize the only reason we got in touch with Henderson and got out of the Upside Down that first time was because of you, right? That made a difference.

[ Steve finally notices the cigarette as an invitation rather than just another one of Eddie's gestures. He didn't think the guy liked him enough to share, but maybe being stuck here together means that he's going to warm up to a friendly face a lot faster even if it's the face of former King Steve.

Taking the cigarette between two fingers, he lifts it to tag a drag, holds it in his lungs, and then sighs it back out. He considers himself lucky that he does cough it up since it's been a while since he last smoked. ] Thanks, I'll grab my own while we're out so I don't have to keep bumming off you.

[ Another drag and he offers it back to Eddie with a smile that's both thankful and self-deprecating. He appreciates that Eddie is trying to make him feel better, but Steve doesn't necessarily need it; he knows his strengths and his weaknesses. ] Yeah, we're just lucky I can recognize that kid's condescending tone a mile away.

It's all yours. [ eddie waves a dismissive hand and then moves to pull out another cigarette from the pack he's got squirreled away in his jacket. ] This place isn't against us smoking, apparently.

[ weapons are on the out but there's definitely still ways to kill themselves. slowly, he guesses. somehow that thought is a lot more fucked up. ] That's a skill, Harrington.

One that saved my ass so I'm going to be grateful. [ it kept him alive longer and while eddie's aware that it's not for long, the part where things go downhill for him aren't really steve harrington's fault at all. ]

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