[ Having this bond with Nancy and the rest of the people in their ragtag group can feel both freeing and claustrophobic at times. Steve is forever grateful that he has people he can talk to about all of this shit, friends who aren't going to call him crazy for shining a flashlight out his bedroom window and into the woods every night before he tries to sleep. At the same time, though, he can't feel that same closeness with anyone else in the world, can't trust people to have his back when they don't know what they might be defending him from. Steve still wishes he could just be a normal guy who falls in love and has kids and goes on family vacations; he hasn't taken to this life the way that Nancy and Jonathan have or any of the kids. Robin at least makes him feel a little saner for trying to go on dates or not take shooting lessons, but having her as a metric for normalcy is its own kind of insanity.
Still, Steve is nothing if not a supporter. He can't come up with complex plans or build radio towers or throw shit with his mind, but he can help with all of the stuff in between. He can be an ear for Nancy, and he can lessen his own problems enough to focus on how she's struggling right now. Steve may not worry about normal teenage things like dances and crushes, but he misses the days when he did. ]
Are you kidding? She'd have everyone packed up and moving. [ He and Karen hadn't always been on great terms, but he respects her as a mother who cares for kids who are constantly getting into trouble and shouldering that without much help from Ted.
Raising his eyebrow back at her, he hums like he's not surprised she's reading between his lines. She's always been too smart for him. ] You haven't... There haven't been any more visions, right? No spooky clocks?
[ Nancy's expression closes up, her face going carefully blank as she shakes her head and looks away from him. The only problem is her gaze lands on the window and the pool beyond it. In the sunlight, the water twinkles as if winking knowingly at her. ] No.
[ There haven't been any more visions. No spooky clocks. No need for her to pull out the tape queued up to Pat Benatar. But that's the hard part, isn't it? Not knowing if he's still there, just lurking in her mind. He'd pulled her in so quickly that she hadn't had any idea until she was falling and then hitting the bottom of Steve's pool in the upside down.
She moves to the sink, pouring the rest of her drink down the drain. She hates what he did to her. How easily he scared her. How set she was that their plan would succeed. How certain she was that they could end it. How she'd failed.
She turns on the tap and then turns it off. ] I don't think he's going to show me anything else. He got what he wanted the first time.
[ Steve hates himself for asking even before he sees that look come down on Nancy's face, like shutters closing to keep something out or maybe in. He knows that all the insane events in Hawkins have brought them closer in a lot of ways, put them through things that they can't share with the majority of the world, but it's also added to the distance between them. Steve wasn't able to be there for Nancy in the ways she needed, couldn't give her what she ultimately found in Jonathan. It's one reason he hasn't fought for her because he sees it as his own failure more than anything else. Even now, he's bringing up something she doesn't want to talk about just so... what? So he can feel a little safer knowing that there isn't a new prophecy to fear? But the not knowing is just as scary, so he should be trying harder to make her feel better.
That's yet another thing he doesn't know how to do, though. Pretending to be normal people living normal lives hadn't worked for her, and he can't give her the closure they both want regarding Vecna. ]
Hey, no he didn't. He wanted us all scared and running away, and what he got was a badass fight thrown in his face.
[ She lets out a small breath and turns to face him again. She wants to believe him. Wants to believe that the risk they took wasn't worthless and reckless, but Max is across town in a hospital bed, her brave face muted in sleep. She wraps her arms around herself, her eyes serious as they settle on him. ] Or maybe he got exactly what he wanted from us. Maybe it was a trap all along.
Maybe I played right into it and drug you all along.
[ Now that the words are coming out of her mouth, she can't seem to stop them. She's replayed them over and over and over in her head all night. Turned them over and over until they've been worn smooth and feel familiar.] Maybe you were right when he said he wanted to scare me into action.
[ Shrugging away from his spot leaning against the counter, Steve steps up beside her and reaches for the now empty can. Beer was a bad idea, but he's full of those, especially when he doesn't know what to do to comfort someone he cares about as much as he cares about Nancy Wheeler.
He sets a hand on her shoulder, light though he gives a gentle squeeze. It's not his place to embrace her, wrap an arm around her and pull her into a hug, but he's pretty bad at all of the emotional stuff and falls back on physical comfort. ]
You really think getting barbecued and filled with bullets was part of his plan? [ Snorting a little, he drops his hand and leans next to her, bowing his back so he can vie for eye contact even though she's facing the sink. ] You should never listen to me, I'm a dumb coward.
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Still, Steve is nothing if not a supporter. He can't come up with complex plans or build radio towers or throw shit with his mind, but he can help with all of the stuff in between. He can be an ear for Nancy, and he can lessen his own problems enough to focus on how she's struggling right now. Steve may not worry about normal teenage things like dances and crushes, but he misses the days when he did. ]
Are you kidding? She'd have everyone packed up and moving. [ He and Karen hadn't always been on great terms, but he respects her as a mother who cares for kids who are constantly getting into trouble and shouldering that without much help from Ted.
Raising his eyebrow back at her, he hums like he's not surprised she's reading between his lines. She's always been too smart for him. ] You haven't... There haven't been any more visions, right? No spooky clocks?
no subject
[ There haven't been any more visions. No spooky clocks. No need for her to pull out the tape queued up to Pat Benatar. But that's the hard part, isn't it? Not knowing if he's still there, just lurking in her mind. He'd pulled her in so quickly that she hadn't had any idea until she was falling and then hitting the bottom of Steve's pool in the upside down.
She moves to the sink, pouring the rest of her drink down the drain. She hates what he did to her. How easily he scared her. How set she was that their plan would succeed. How certain she was that they could end it. How she'd failed.
She turns on the tap and then turns it off. ] I don't think he's going to show me anything else. He got what he wanted the first time.
no subject
That's yet another thing he doesn't know how to do, though. Pretending to be normal people living normal lives hadn't worked for her, and he can't give her the closure they both want regarding Vecna. ]
Hey, no he didn't. He wanted us all scared and running away, and what he got was a badass fight thrown in his face.
no subject
Maybe I played right into it and drug you all along.
[ Now that the words are coming out of her mouth, she can't seem to stop them. She's replayed them over and over and over in her head all night. Turned them over and over until they've been worn smooth and feel familiar.] Maybe you were right when he said he wanted to scare me into action.
I should've listened to you.
no subject
He sets a hand on her shoulder, light though he gives a gentle squeeze. It's not his place to embrace her, wrap an arm around her and pull her into a hug, but he's pretty bad at all of the emotional stuff and falls back on physical comfort. ]
You really think getting barbecued and filled with bullets was part of his plan? [ Snorting a little, he drops his hand and leans next to her, bowing his back so he can vie for eye contact even though she's facing the sink. ] You should never listen to me, I'm a dumb coward.
no subject
[ She looks up at him, her eyes going soft. Fingers reaching to settle over his on her shoulder. ] You're not a coward, Steve. And you're not dumb.